The 12 Days of C²'s Christmas
(in their dreams)

This will be fed to the boys at sea one line a day from
25th December-5th January.
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On the first day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
An outboard with 80hp.

On the second day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the third day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the fourth day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the fifth day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
FIVE COLD DRINKS,
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the sixth day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Six chiropractors,
FIVE COLD DRINKS
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the seventh day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Seven showers a-steaming,
Six chiropractors,
FIVE COLD DRINKS
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the eighth day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Eight cheeks a-chafing,
Seven showers a-steaming,
Six chiropractors,
FIVE COLD DRINKS
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the ninth day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Nine solid buildings,
Eight cheeks a-chafing,
Seven showers a-steaming,
Six chiropractors,
FIVE COLD DRINKS
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the tenth day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Ten hours a-sleeping,
Nine solid buildings,
Eight cheeks a-chafing,
Seven showers a-steaming,
Six chiropractors,
FIVE COLD DRINKS
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Eleven masseurs kneading,
Ten hours a-sleeping
Nine solid buildings,
Eight cheeks a-chafing,
Seven showers a-steaming,
Six chiropractors,
FIVE COLD DRINKS
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Sea Cow gave to C,
Twelve grand (all Gift Aid)
Eleven masseurs kneading,
Ten hours a-sleeping
Nine solid buildings,
Eight cheeks a-chafing,
Seven showers a-steaming,
Six chiropractors,
FIVE COLD DRINKS
Four cream cakes,
Three rump steaks,
Two pints of beer,
And an outboard with 80hp.

Many thanks to Jonathan Peddie and Sue Walke for suggesting almost all of these.

The following may be closer to what Chris would have got for Christmas
had he not embarked on all of this...

Twelve Legal Letters
Eleven Hours of Stressing
Ten Time Sheets entered
Nine Big documents
Eight further reminders
Seven arranged meetings
Six not attended
FIVE Sea Cows Seen
Four whopping lies
Three Starry Eyes
Two court appearances
and a bottle of very good cheer.